My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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