Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
