I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
