This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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