Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
