he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
