I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
