the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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