i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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