I cockslap morals
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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