I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
