i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
