i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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