Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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