Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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