I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
MIDGETS
????
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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