Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
