ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
