Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
