Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
