Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
