When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You took a bar mat shot.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
