It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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