i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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