Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
