:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
