just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
