true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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