i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
