did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize