i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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