new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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