Where did you get a picture of my penis
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
True strength comes from lack of pants
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
