moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
