you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
