my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
