I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
