Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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