the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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