Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
