Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
