I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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