Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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