Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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