I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
