absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize