Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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