Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
