You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
