Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
