WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
where are you?
Hypothermia
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
