I need help removing her.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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