I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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