I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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