That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
