She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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