Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
