I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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