your thong is hanging out like whoa
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
