apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
