he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
