my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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