Will you blow on my dice?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
