The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I wear drunk well.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
