Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
