the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
